Tuesday, August 16, 2011

August 16, 2011

2 months, 1 week, and 4 days since diagnosis
day #16 of current hospital stay
Riker turned 6 months old today. Just over 2 months ago we didn't think she'd see 4 months :)
Not breastfeeding was far more difficult for me than it was for her. She is taking bottles from me without issue. I am now pumping for 20 minutes, taking 20 minutes to feed her and spending another 20 washing up parts and preparing bottles. I am now doing this every 2 hours. I went from feeling her close and feeding her so easily and naturally to cuddling up to a cold plastic machine that, well, sucks. *sigh*
Certainly, I'll stop feeling sorry for myself soon. This will just become the "way of life" as did everything else leading up to this moment in time. For now, I'll mourn my loss - I'll let it in for a little while before I gather myself back up with my head held high.

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