Our oldest daughter, Valentine has hives and has been throwing up from the stress this has put on her. She continues to miss her sister and ask to visit her. She's too young to understand and yet understands more than someone her age with her maturity should. It is breaking my heart.
Usually Valentine is incredibly independent and capable. Now she's become clingy and always wants her mommy. I have other people helping out with her constantly so that I can be with Riker and it is really taking its toll on her. Last night she spent the night with my mother and I was told she woke up 20-30 times calling out for me.
I continue to feel like I am not able to give either of my daughters what they need :( Valentine is strong and she will be ok - I know that. Riker is young and the staff at the hosptial is amazing - she, too, will be ok. It's me that is not ok. I feel that I am being robbed of time with both my girls. :(
On a lighter note, our amazing friends threw us a benefit today. The support was amazing and overwhelming. I have been to benefits in the past and now realize that you simply have no idea what it is like to be the recipient until you've been in those shoes. It is such a combination of emotions and I felt like I was on a rollercoaster all day long.
It was nice to get out of the hospital and spend some quality time with friends. It was great to get out and see all the support of people that a rooting for our little girl. Thank you to everyone that is supporting us. It is only with your help that we are getting through this at all.